What's your word?
2025 calling.
Hello everyone + happy 2025!
I’ve been a bit MIA (missing in action). I haven’t written since September. We’ll call it a fallow time. It was more like a burnout. I’m learning about my creative self, how it ebbs and flows. How it drains and fills. And also about how to say no to things that are draining in order to have the energy for what is life-giving.
Can I get an amen?
I wasn’t always like this. In fact, historically I’ve been the girl who does all the things all the time and doesn’t think much of my enjoyment of any of it! Propelled by some internal motor, a slave to my creative urges (with a heavy dash of people pleasing), I would just…do things. Anything will do!
There’s a lot more to it, but can we leave it at that? Thanks. 2024 has been good to me in the boring way. I had declared it the year of self-care and, as it turns out, self-care can be kinda boring. I mean, I’d rather be doing pretty much anything other than like going to the doctor and taking vitamins, you know?
But life requires care. No matter how I try to deny it, I am a person in a physical body. I find this pretty difficult and yet no less real. This body needs to be cared for. Facts. If I don’t care for it, listen to it, it gets migraines and anxiety and acne and TBH none of it is a good look. Not for me and not for the people around me.
And this body holds so much wisdom. It’s a walking guidepost if we tune into it, right? The physical symptom is a message that maybe we’re off track or that something needs attention. And the joy! The warm fuzzy feelings we feel? They let’s us know we’re on the right track. We can trust that.
So with my face to the sunshine of a new year, I’m grateful. Grateful I had this time to rest. Even though it was boring and made me anxious, it also gave me space to see clearly and let go where I needed to let go. I’m recommitting to not repeating old (bad) patterns. I’m feeling motivated and maybe even energized? Wait. Who am I??
And I’m moving into the new year with less tolerance for bullshit and a more realistic eye on things. Some big lessons? Just because something holds potential, doesn’t mean it deserves your attention. And just because something can be tolerated, doesn’t mean that it should be tolerated.
That last one is a lesson I’ve had to learn time and time again. If you hate it, stop it. Say it with me now! I will eventually get this through my thick skull! <insert melting emoji>
And that first one is important because I think it’s a bedfellow to a creative soul. We can see potential. In almost everything. There have been times in my life where I’d follow potential down any dark alley like it was my duty. Yikes! Not anymore. Moving forward, I will choose where to direct that.
Especially with the state of the world at large? Like, let’s direct that shit. Let’s put it in the direction of positive impact.
And then, on New Year’s Eve, a friend texted me THEE question: What is YOUR WORD? Your North Star for 2025?
Reflecting back, I realize I had felt a sort of stuckness in 2023 and 2024 had been a year of unsticking and of parsing out. Of pulling back and pulling away. So this year, my word is burst. It’s another way of saying freedom or expansion but its a better visual, yeah?
I’ve been pulling apart the dam, one stick at a time. Maybe this is the year the dam finally bursts wide open! That’s a ‘yikes!’ I can get behind! You know, metaphorically. I don’t want any dams bursting open IRL.
You know, it’s as the great philosopher, The Vines, said:
I'm gonna get free, I'm gonna get free, I'm gonna get free, ride into the sun!
Oh! Maybe that’s my song of the year.
What’s your song? What’s your word?
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god speaks to each of us as he makes us / then walks with us silently out of the night / these are the words we dimly hear / you, sent out beyond your recall / go to the limits of your longing / embody me / flare up like a flame / and make big shadows I can move in / let everything happen to you: beauty and terror / just keep going / no feeling is final / don't let yourself lose me / nearby is the country they call life / you will know it by its seriousness / give me your hand
― Rainer Maria Rilke
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Excited to share that I’ve joined the board of the Ojai Film Society. Founded in 1988, the mission of the OFS is to present quality independent, foreign, documentary, and classic films to the Ojai Valley, outdoors, in community for free. Follow along, dang it!
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More soon.
Jump + Pray!
Joce