Shy girl things
Feel the fear and do what's best for you 😘
“Do something every day that scares you.” Remember that one?
I gotta say, I’m not onboard. Sure, I like to push myself outside my comfort zone. But everyday? No thanks. Once a month — maybe. My nervous system needs time to recover.
Yesterday I had some folks over for a studio visit. This terrifies me. I’m so grateful that people enjoy my art, enough to make a visit to my studio. That will never seek to blow my mind. And it’s always really fun to meet people and talk art.
But it also feels incredibly intimate to me. Like someone looking through your underwear drawer while you stand there, hoping they don’t find that pair with teddy bears on them. Not that I own underwear with teddy bears on them.
Sometimes we do scary things and they get less scary.
Sometimes the scary things are scary every, single time.
I was shy as a kid. I couldn’t even order a meal at a restaurant. Looking at/talking to a waiter aka a complete stranger was way too much for me. I would make my little sister order for me. Really.
As I got older, I began to realize that my big dreams would be held back by my shy nature. I needed to find a way to overcome so that I didn’t miss out on what life had for me.
Like that one time, again at a restaurant, when one of my favorite bands was eating at the next table over. I secretly watched them the entire meal, trying to work up the courage to say something.
And you know what? I never did. Yeah. I left the restaurant without saying anything. I regretted it big time and I made a promise to myself that I’d never let my shyness tell me what to do again. I’d never miss out like that again.
I’ve held pretty true to this promise to myself. And maybe doing the scary thing has gotten a little easier. I definitely can order a meal at a restaurant now (go me! haha). Mostly though, a lot still scares me. Like yesterday before that studio visit, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I was sweating, tunnel-visioned, the whole thing. Very unpleasant.
So the advice “do the hard thing every frickin day” is short-sighted at best. The real thing to consider? How can you do the hard thing in a way that feels supportive, sustainable, possible even? So, I’m thinking about this. Because, I want to keep showing my art and I want to do it in a way that works for me — that honors the shy girl. Because that shy girl is brave af and deserves consideration.
Ojai Local?
Join me Friday night at Ojai Valley Museum for Third Fridays. We’ll be making mini collages and I hear there will be snacks.
Jump + Pray,
Joce
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