Fear deflates
Prepare for seasonal depression the subject of the email read. I scoffed because I was already in it. I guess it’s more common that people get Winter Blues but I am all about that Summertime Sadness. (Thanks, Lana.)
It’s really more of a stress than a sadness anyway. Here’s what’s hard: routines get upended, temps are sweltering, sleep is just…bad. My migraines love the heat - they decidedly DO NOT have Summertime Sadness and I really wish they did.
As life would have it, I’m in another freelance work lull. These lulls always do a bit to my brain. They put me in fear-mode, doubt-mode, lacking-mode, which are really not the modes you want to be in. At all. Like, for anything. Not cute, not flattering, not fun.
Fear is deflating. You might as well put blinders on, stick your head in the hot sand. This is precisely what you don’t want in moments like these. When you’re trying to figure out next steps, what you want to be is open, receptive, perceptive. I always want to be this way.
Love expands
I was at a party recently, mostly of folks I didn’t know. I wanted to go but I was worried about the ever-dreaded What do you do? question because I never know quite how to answer it. You’d think after 45 years I’d have the elevator pitch down but creative lives are never so clear cut. Oh to be able to say I’m an accountant! and be done with it!
Well, the question came. And rather than rattle off my canned answer that I had practiced in the car on the way there (really - not an elevator pitch, but a 3-bullet point short list) I was honest. You know, I’m in a weird place I heard myself say. I’m not really sure what’s next.
I can’t even remember what happened after that. I think I blacked out. But as the conversation unfolded, what I do remember is how I felt: seen, encouraged, loved, even. What a gift. I ended up leaving the party that night with a full tank of gas, raring to go. Renewed energy and spirit.
Fly at the thing you’re afraid of
At the same party, we saw two snowy barn owls released into the wild. It was very Ojai of us. Ojai is swarming with beautiful birds, it’s just one of the magical things about living here. There’s a rehabilitation center in town that takes in raptors who have been injured. Two volunteers from the center were there that night to release the birds.
We all stood around on pins and needles in our friend’s backyard while the women pulled the bird-sized boxes from their van, setting them on the ground. I tippy-toed so I could see over the shoulder of the person in front of me, just as the first owl was being pulled from the box. (Every unboxing should be of an owl, by the way.)
After a brief showing so we could all take in her beauty, she took off—flying south, behind some trees and out of sight.
We ooo’d and ahh’d.
Then the second one appeared out of the box. This one flew west. We gasped as it was almost immediately mobbed on the ascent by a gang of small birds, trying to protect their space. They must have been like, Who is this bird? Get her out of here!
I had to admire their courage. Imagine flying right at the very thing you’re afraid of.
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The question is not who influences you, but which people give you courage. [Hilary Mantel]
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The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us become the-best-version-of-ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great.
We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. [Matthew Kelly]
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5 things
Boost your creativity the Einstein way
Write your design manifesto
Read about one woman’s quest for a new kind of freedom
Explore your resistance
Be the beautiful you that you are
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Jump + Pray,
Joce
Ain't no party like an Ojai party. What a gift.