Creating is looking for possibility

and possibility is what we are!

May 07, 2024

I’ve been quiet here and it’s not because I don’t love you. I do. I’ve been thinking about you. But last month’s layoffs have left me reeling and exhausted. What to do to make a buck? Where to go? Where to put my energy?

I’ve been scouring the internet and beyond for new opportunities, casting an ever-widening net: photography teacher, content director, communications manager, copywriter. What won’t she do?

The other week over dinner, a friend asked me what my dream job was. I already had it, I said without hesitation. Running a record label was the most fun, fulfilling thing I ever did. I was so clear about doing it and I did it. It felt easy. It felt right.

It was a good 8-year run before the internet started to change the way people consumed music - mainly, they started consuming it for free. This made business unviable of course. The rug was pulled. I’d never been so heartbroken.

It was so heartbreaking, in fact, that it took years before my partner or I could even speak about it. It’s only been recently that we can - a little. And it still hurts.

I feel lucky on one hand, to have had that experience. A lot of people live their entire lives never knowing what it feels like to be in the flow of life like that. I’m so, so grateful.

On the other hand, work has been a mixed bag since the label ended 10 years ago. My partner started a new career in law, which has been great for him. I’ve pursued various things: consulting, art-making, coaching, teaching. Nothing feels like a fit.

All the while, I still have this thing in me that made the label SO satisfying: I love to build. I love to make a thing, anything. Companies, communities, websites, art. The act of nothing to something is magic. I love the blank page and all the potential it holds.

I love to create.

That’s it.

That’s what I love.

Feels like a crazy thing to say these days. Artificial Intelligence nips at our heels. People seem a-okay to let the robots do the creating. Let the robots deal with the blank page, right? The thing is? They aren’t starting from scratch like humans are when they set out to make a thing - and that matters.

We need humans to make things - not just edit them. Editing is a different function, a different flow. Editing is making things better, yes, but ultimately it’s looking for error. Creating is looking for possibility. It’s making connections. Possibility and connection is what we need.

I don’t know where life is taking me right now, but I know I want to live in possibility. I know I’ve been called to hold a vision of what’s possible and to help connect. Jump and pray, right? That’s what I believe and that’s what I’m going to keep doing.

Jumping…

praying.

May we find our way in a fucked up world and may we live in possibility because possibility is what we are!!

works in possibility: