Chaos → Creativity

Using the chaotic thing to make a new thing.

I’m laying on my back in my new studio.

It’s 100 degrees out and I’ve truck up and down a case of stairs, hands full of studio stuff, three times now. My new space is on the second floor of a retail complex in town. My window looks out over a Chevron parking lot and the Topa Topa Mountains.

I’m laying down because it’s hot out and I’m hot. But I’m also laying down to feel grounded. I feel a little out of it. A little of that “where am I/who am I” dread a person feels with anything risky. Anything new. And this space is a risk for me. Renting it, inhabiting it. I’ve never had a dedicated space for art making. Ever.

I momentarily panic: Will I even be able to create in this new space? What if can’t get in the zone? What if I’ve just made this investment and moved all my shit and it’s not right?

I breathe deep into my belly and stare up at the fluorescent lights. They’re off and they’ll stay that way but the grid of lights and ceiling tiles create a kind of order that’s comforting. As if to say that order is possible. That, as chaotic as it feels to uproot my sacred making space, to invest in myself in this way, this is the next, right thing. And I will make this place sacred, too.

And, there is sunlight.

Mostly, overwhelmingly, I’m grateful. I’m in awe of how I got here, how I got this studio - the people I had to cross paths with, the doors that had to open and the new friends I had to make for any of this to even be possible. Some kind of magic, I tell you.

I pick up my phone and this message from the Universe appears:

“Chaos can be a breeding ground for creativity and innovation. In the midst of dysfunction, there lies immense potential for growth and breakthroughs. Stay grounded, stay present, and let the chaos inspire your artistic mastery.“

I don’t want to be a master. There’s too much aliveness in the not-knowing, I think. And yet it’s true that all of life is fodder for creating. Even the chaos. And so I’ll use this, too. As a place to start. And I’ll remember that with a few friends, some paper, or fabric, or the right pen, any chaos can be turned into creativity.

Jump + Pray,

Joce

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